Sexual intercourse, or coitus or copulation,
is mainly the insertion and thrusting of a male's penis,
usually when erect, into a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction; also known as vaginal
intercourse or vaginal sex. Other forms of penetrative sexual intercourse include penetration of the anus by the penis (anal sex),
penetration of the mouth by the penis or oral penetration of the vulva or vagina (oral
sex), sexual penetration by the fingers (fingering), and sexual penetration by use of a strap-on dildo. These activities involve physical intimacy between two or more individuals and are
usually used among humans solely for physical or emotional pleasure and commonly contribute to human bonding.
Sex is supposed to make couples feel good and relaxed —like
toe-curling, spine-tingling, back-arching
good. But recent research shows a whopping 30 percent of women are experiencing
pain during the act. We will be looking at the possible cause(s) of pains
attributed to sexual intercourse by women.
There are quite a few reasons
for women to have pain while having Sexual Intercourse.
For
WOMEN that have pain - it could be the way their internal anatomy is. Their
cervix or uterus could be tilted in such a way that the penis hits and makes it
uncomfortable. That is with deep thrusting. Another common reason is simply
that the woman is not aroused when intercourse is occurring and the vagina is
not sufficiently enlarged or lubricated. This causes the movement of the penis
to become more and more uncomfortable
Primary Causes of Vaginal Pain
during Sexual Intercourse
One
of the most common primary causes of vaginal pain during intercourse is a dry
vagina. Usually, when a woman is sexually aroused, fluids are secreted in the vagina
that keeps the lining well lubricated. But if a woman is not sexually aroused,
or if fluids are not secreted for some other reason, intercourse can cause very
painful damage to the vaginal lining. And in some cases, the lining of the
vagina can actually tear, resulting in post-intercourse bleeding. Thus, it’s
expedient of the other party involved during sexual intercourse to put this
into cognisance.
However,
there are several ways to avoid a dry vagina during intercourse but I will be
emphasizing on two different types. The first is to avoid intercourse until you
are sexually aroused while the second way is to use an artificial water-based
vaginal lubricant, such as K-Y jelly, Replens Vaginal Moisturizer, as a
substitute or backup for natural lubricant. Since vaginal secretion is usually
an indication of a woman's sexual interest, I usually recommend that
intercourse wait until she experiences sexual arousal and natural lubrication.
I want couples to avoid getting into the habit of sex that's passionless for her.
But, if natural secretion is an unreliable indicator of your sexual arousal, I
would certainly recommend an artificial lubricant. Thus, If you're not sure if
a dry vagina is the cause of your pain, use an artificial lubricant once. If
there is no pain under those conditions, then you have proof that it's the
cause of your distress.
Another
common cause of vaginal discomfort during intercourse is bacterial infection.
This occurs frequently in women, and an antibiotic will generally cure the
problem within a week or so. A related problem is bladder infections, while the
problem may be in the bladder or urethra, not in the vagina; it often causes
discomfort during intercourse. A visit to your doctor will identify and treat a
bacterial infection so that you will have minimal interruption in your sexual fulfilment.
But be sure to make the appointment as soon as intercourse is uncomfortable.
Otherwise it can develop into a secondary cause of vaginal pain that I will
explain later.
There
are other diseases that can cause pain or discomfort during intercourse.
Vaginal endometriosis is one of them. When your doctor examines you for
possible bacterial infection, be sure to ask him or her about endometriosis,
because it is often overlooked during an examination. Your doctor examination
will also be able to check for any vaginal tumors or venereal diseases that may
be causing your discomfort. These problems may take longer to treat than
bacterial infections, but whatever the problem turns out to be, don't have
intercourse until it has been overcome else you will be compounding the problem.
Moreover,
if you have experienced vaginal bleeding after intercourse, your doctor should
also be able to identify its source, and treat it for you. Sometimes a scratch
or tear in the lining caused by something other than intercourse can be the
cause of your problem. It is very important for you to be comfortable with
regular pelvic examinations. Otherwise you may let a medical problem become so
far advanced that it causes you permanent injury. If you are embarrassed to see
a male doctor, find a female doctor. But whatever you do, don't let your
inhibitions prevent you from experiencing painless intercourse.
Note: Until your doctor can
identify the source of your vaginal discomfort, don't have intercourse. Allow the problem to be diagnosed, treated and
overcome to his or her satisfaction. Some problems can be treated in a week or
less, while others, like endometriosis may take months to overcome.
If
you are unable to have intercourse during treatment for a vaginal disease, that
doesn't mean you'll be forcing your husband to rush off to have sex with
someone else. I suggest that your husband be informed by your doctor of what it
is you are going through, and how you will be treated. A major problem you may
face is your husband's failure to see your sexual reluctance for what it is:
vaginal pain brought on by a physical cause. If he doesn't believe you when you
explain that it's the pain that makes you reluctant, his ignorance puts your sexual
relationship, and probably your marriage, at risk. But once he understands the
nature of the problem, and knows that it isn't an affair or some other
emotional cause, he will be happier with alternatives to intercourse while you
wait for your treatment to take effect.
In
some cases, a husband's thoughtlessness is remembered long after the painful
symptoms are gone. If your husband tries to force you to have painful
intercourse with him and threatens you if you do not cooperate, your memories
of his insensitivity will be a far greater barrier to your future sexual
relationship than your disease ever could have been. Don't let him create those
barriers to your future bonding together. Insist that there be no sex unless
you enjoy the experience with him. It’s not only in your best interest, but in
his best interest too. If you go ahead and try to make love when it’s painful
to you, you may have a very difficult time making love to him in the future.
A Secondary Cause of Vaginal
Pain during Sexual Intercourse
What
you will probably be doing, if you eliminate the primary causes, and you still
experience vaginal pain? What if your doctor finds no physical cause for your
discomfort during intercourse? That can be very discouraging to most women, who
begin to think that it's all in their heads. If the pain is not physically
caused, then it must be psychological, right? Not necessarily.
In
fact, most cases of persistent vaginal discomfort are not due to primary causes
at all, but rather to a reflex called vaginismus. It's not psychological or
emotional, it's very physical. Vaginismus is a painful reflex that is created
in association with a primary cause of vaginal pain. In other words, if you
experience vaginal pain from any one of the primary causes I've earlier mentioned,
vaginismus can develop secondarily. Long after the primary cause is ended, the
vaginismus can persist. This reflex responds to stimulation of the vaginal
opening. If you suffer from vaginismus, you will notice it most when you first
try to insert something into your vagina. The opening involuntarily contracts
and pain is immediately felt. In extreme cases, the contraction is so tight
that nothing can penetrate it.
From
this description, you can see how it would interfere with intercourse. Regardless
of how sexually aroused you might be, or how lubricated your vagina might be,
as soon as you try to insert your husband's penis, you would experience
excruciating pain. It may be difficult to insert his penis, because the vaginal
opening becomes constricted. In some cases, it is impossible to insert a penis.
Traditional
sexual intercourse regularly produces an orgasm for men but rarely does for
women. This is because the location of the clitoris prevents most women from
getting sensitive, appropriate and sustained stimulation when they make love.
Full satisfaction for both partners is neither easy nor obvious; it doesn't
"come naturally." Astonishingly, almost none of the literature on sex
is helpful on this issue. Almost without exception, the "experts"
have been asking the wrong questions and are stuck in an old paradigm of how
sexual intercourse is supposed to work. As a result, few couples find the
advice they need: Three approaches that allow both partners to get full
satisfaction during lovemaking, including
- Simultaneous orgasms, which the
conventional wisdom has declared to be virtually impossible.
- A breakthrough for couples in
achieving mutual satisfaction and long-term sexual happiness.
- Revolutionary ideas that liberate
couples from conventional wisdom that doesn't work and helps them
communicate about what does.
Note: GIRLS should not be
having sex at all because she will have pain (severe). Thus, if you are a man
having sex with a "girl" you should make a conscious effort to stop
immediately.
