Little Things That Matter

Nature in all its loveliness A beauty o behold Nature with all its pleasure and grace Enjoyed by just a few The blind with their sightless eyes Never to see the rising of the sun Nor the awe of its setting But to the ones who do see The beauty of it is ever lost on them For the deaf in their own quietude The bearing of the ocean waves Is a dream never come true But for those who can hear Itd nothing but the sound of rushing waters. For the mentally derailed In their own solitude The pleasure of life They'd really want to share For the mentally fit and mentally able Life is nothing but a weary experience They'd sooner leaver For the dead in their quite grave Their eternity is spent Making wishes Wishes never to come true Their wrongs never again to be put right Remains their constant agony All of lifes irony An adage comes to mind The importance of what one has Is never really known But it all comes to mind When all opportunity is lost Nature is therefore to be enjoyed to the fullest When one is able For there always come a time When inability sets in And one tends to remember Things best forgotten And one tends to reach out To grasp lifes cold reality Then and only then Will little things that matter All come to mind.

Women and Pain During Sexual Intercourse...

Sexual intercourse, or coitus or copulation, is mainly the insertion and thrusting of a male's penis, usually when erect, into a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction; also known as vaginal intercourse or vaginal sex. Other forms of penetrative sexual intercourse include penetration of the anus by the penis (anal sex), penetration of the mouth by the penis or oral penetration of the vulva or vagina (oral sex), sexual penetration by the fingers (fingering), and sexual penetration by use of a strap-on dildo. These activities involve physical intimacy between two or more individuals and are usually used among humans solely for physical or emotional pleasure and commonly contribute to human bonding.

Sex is supposed to make couples feel good and relaxed —like toe-curling, spine-tingling, back-arching good. But recent research shows a whopping 30 percent of women are experiencing pain during the act. We will be looking at the possible cause(s) of pains attributed to sexual intercourse by women. 

There are quite a few reasons for women to have pain while having Sexual Intercourse.

For WOMEN that have pain - it could be the way their internal anatomy is. Their cervix or uterus could be tilted in such a way that the penis hits and makes it uncomfortable. That is with deep thrusting. Another common reason is simply that the woman is not aroused when intercourse is occurring and the vagina is not sufficiently enlarged or lubricated. This causes the movement of the penis to become more and more uncomfortable

Primary Causes of Vaginal Pain during Sexual Intercourse

One of the most common primary causes of vaginal pain during intercourse is a dry vagina. Usually, when a woman is sexually aroused, fluids are secreted in the vagina that keeps the lining well lubricated. But if a woman is not sexually aroused, or if fluids are not secreted for some other reason, intercourse can cause very painful damage to the vaginal lining. And in some cases, the lining of the vagina can actually tear, resulting in post-intercourse bleeding. Thus, it’s expedient of the other party involved during sexual intercourse to put this into cognisance. 

However, there are several ways to avoid a dry vagina during intercourse but I will be emphasizing on two different types. The first is to avoid intercourse until you are sexually aroused while the second way is to use an artificial water-based vaginal lubricant, such as K-Y jelly, Replens Vaginal Moisturizer, as a substitute or backup for natural lubricant. Since vaginal secretion is usually an indication of a woman's sexual interest, I usually recommend that intercourse wait until she experiences sexual arousal and natural lubrication. I want couples to avoid getting into the habit of sex that's passionless for her. But, if natural secretion is an unreliable indicator of your sexual arousal, I would certainly recommend an artificial lubricant. Thus, If you're not sure if a dry vagina is the cause of your pain, use an artificial lubricant once. If there is no pain under those conditions, then you have proof that it's the cause of your distress.

Another common cause of vaginal discomfort during intercourse is bacterial infection. This occurs frequently in women, and an antibiotic will generally cure the problem within a week or so. A related problem is bladder infections, while the problem may be in the bladder or urethra, not in the vagina; it often causes discomfort during intercourse. A visit to your doctor will identify and treat a bacterial infection so that you will have minimal interruption in your sexual fulfilment. But be sure to make the appointment as soon as intercourse is uncomfortable. Otherwise it can develop into a secondary cause of vaginal pain that I will explain later.

There are other diseases that can cause pain or discomfort during intercourse. Vaginal endometriosis is one of them. When your doctor examines you for possible bacterial infection, be sure to ask him or her about endometriosis, because it is often overlooked during an examination. Your doctor examination will also be able to check for any vaginal tumors or venereal diseases that may be causing your discomfort. These problems may take longer to treat than bacterial infections, but whatever the problem turns out to be, don't have intercourse until it has been overcome else you will be compounding the problem.

Moreover, if you have experienced vaginal bleeding after intercourse, your doctor should also be able to identify its source, and treat it for you. Sometimes a scratch or tear in the lining caused by something other than intercourse can be the cause of your problem. It is very important for you to be comfortable with regular pelvic examinations. Otherwise you may let a medical problem become so far advanced that it causes you permanent injury. If you are embarrassed to see a male doctor, find a female doctor. But whatever you do, don't let your inhibitions prevent you from experiencing painless intercourse.
Note: Until your doctor can identify the source of your vaginal discomfort, don't have intercourse.  Allow the problem to be diagnosed, treated and overcome to his or her satisfaction. Some problems can be treated in a week or less, while others, like endometriosis may take months to overcome.

If you are unable to have intercourse during treatment for a vaginal disease, that doesn't mean you'll be forcing your husband to rush off to have sex with someone else. I suggest that your husband be informed by your doctor of what it is you are going through, and how you will be treated. A major problem you may face is your husband's failure to see your sexual reluctance for what it is: vaginal pain brought on by a physical cause. If he doesn't believe you when you explain that it's the pain that makes you reluctant, his ignorance puts your sexual relationship, and probably your marriage, at risk. But once he understands the nature of the problem, and knows that it isn't an affair or some other emotional cause, he will be happier with alternatives to intercourse while you wait for your treatment to take effect.

In some cases, a husband's thoughtlessness is remembered long after the painful symptoms are gone. If your husband tries to force you to have painful intercourse with him and threatens you if you do not cooperate, your memories of his insensitivity will be a far greater barrier to your future sexual relationship than your disease ever could have been. Don't let him create those barriers to your future bonding together. Insist that there be no sex unless you enjoy the experience with him. It’s not only in your best interest, but in his best interest too. If you go ahead and try to make love when it’s painful to you, you may have a very difficult time making love to him in the future.

A Secondary Cause of Vaginal Pain during Sexual Intercourse

What you will probably be doing, if you eliminate the primary causes, and you still experience vaginal pain? What if your doctor finds no physical cause for your discomfort during intercourse? That can be very discouraging to most women, who begin to think that it's all in their heads. If the pain is not physically caused, then it must be psychological, right? Not necessarily.

In fact, most cases of persistent vaginal discomfort are not due to primary causes at all, but rather to a reflex called vaginismus. It's not psychological or emotional, it's very physical. Vaginismus is a painful reflex that is created in association with a primary cause of vaginal pain. In other words, if you experience vaginal pain from any one of the primary causes I've earlier mentioned, vaginismus can develop secondarily. Long after the primary cause is ended, the vaginismus can persist. This reflex responds to stimulation of the vaginal opening. If you suffer from vaginismus, you will notice it most when you first try to insert something into your vagina. The opening involuntarily contracts and pain is immediately felt. In extreme cases, the contraction is so tight that nothing can penetrate it.

From this description, you can see how it would interfere with intercourse. Regardless of how sexually aroused you might be, or how lubricated your vagina might be, as soon as you try to insert your husband's penis, you would experience excruciating pain. It may be difficult to insert his penis, because the vaginal opening becomes constricted. In some cases, it is impossible to insert a penis.

Traditional sexual intercourse regularly produces an orgasm for men but rarely does for women. This is because the location of the clitoris prevents most women from getting sensitive, appropriate and sustained stimulation when they make love. Full satisfaction for both partners is neither easy nor obvious; it doesn't "come naturally." Astonishingly, almost none of the literature on sex is helpful on this issue. Almost without exception, the "experts" have been asking the wrong questions and are stuck in an old paradigm of how sexual intercourse is supposed to work. As a result, few couples find the advice they need: Three approaches that allow both partners to get full satisfaction during lovemaking, including
  1. Simultaneous orgasms, which the conventional wisdom has declared to be virtually impossible.
  2. A breakthrough for couples in achieving mutual satisfaction and long-term sexual happiness.
  3. Revolutionary ideas that liberate couples from conventional wisdom that doesn't work and helps them communicate about what does.

Note: GIRLS should not be having sex at all because she will have pain (severe). Thus, if you are a man having sex with a "girl" you should make a conscious effort to stop immediately.