Parenting... Lessons to learn

Posted as received. Please create time to read and learn some lessons from it.
Hello madam,

I wake up in pain everyday and wish everyday and I pray the next time I open my eyes,  I should find myself in the world beyond and not here on earth.

I came across your different posts yesterday and felt I could share my secret with you and may be if I did,  my story may help one or two parents who read your posts.

I got married at the age of 24years to my husband who was a medical practitioner just like I was.  We both focused on our carried and of course were both successful in all we did but not in our parenting our own flesh and blood.

We had two children, Kunle the first and Tola the second. Kunle was a very inquisitive boy and asked questions on everything. He even had a nick name "the examiner". His father and I got tired of his questions that we started locking up the door to our bedroom once we came back from work. How I wish I knew better, how I wish I read those posts of yours then.

By the time Kunle was four years old, he was much more intelligent than his colleagues and he was so lively,  you would never have a dull moment with him.  He loved his sister so much and we were always proud of him. His father and I were so sure Kunle was also going to become a medical doctor just like we were.

We loved our children so much and had plans to give then the best of everything although we were always busy and were not always at home because of the nature of our job.  This made us   hire a nanny and we also had one of my brothers in-law with us.

On day,  I came back from work very tired  and my son ran into my room with me and asked,
"why do you always close your door anytime you and daddy are in the room?"

"Do you like kissing my daddy?"

"why don't you kiss me too?"

I got so upset with him that I beat him severely and reported him to his teacher the next day.  We believed some of his friends were already exposed and may be watched bad movies at home.  By the end of that term, we withdrew Kunle and Tola from the school.

We did not allow him and his sister watch the television at home and also stopped them from visiting their friends and neighbours.  We did all this to preserve our children's sanity but hardly did we know what was happening right under our roof.

Some two years later,  I got home unusually early to pick up a document. I noticed the door was not shut and everywhere was quiet.  I sneaked in to give my children a playful surprise when I realised that their uncle and nanny were in the sitting alongside with my children watching pornography. I hate remembering that day.  Not only were they watching pornography, but they were all naked,  practicing what they were watching.

I drove out the nanny and my brother in-law but the seed was already planted. When I was crying,  my six year old son came to me and said, mummy why are you crying,  uncle and aunty are only teaching us how to be good mummy and daddy. I was shocked as I never even knew that this had been going on for over two years and my children had be indoctrinated into this messy life style at their tender ages.

 We never realized the impact  this had had on their lives until we caught both of them having sexual intercourse on uncountable occasions. Tola and Kunle did not only continue with this but became obsessed with each other.

Their father and I kept this as our "little secret" as we were well known in our carrier. We tried correcting them in love with tears streaming down our faces whenever we caught them in the act. They promised us they were going to change. We had had done two abortions for our daughter, since we could not face the stigma of incest.

On a fateful day, Tola walked up to her father and I and told us she was pregnant for Kunle again. Her father insisted on an abortion as usual but this time we lost our twenty year old daughter in the process. Kunle on learning Tola had died never spoke to neither his father nor I again. He eventually left home.

Three months after he left home,  we received a call from an hospital telling us our son was in a terrible state in their ICU. When we got there,  Kunle was lying unconscious.  He had poisoned himself.

 Finally, he got conscious and we were so happy, he looked at us as we sat by he bedside and told us how much he hated us for killing his sister. We pleaded with him and apologized.
We got to the hospital the next day to see his corpse,  he had suffocated himself by removing his oxygen mask.

I am now 74 years old and a widow, my husband could not forgive himself and died of depression three years ago. I regret my years of ignorance everyday. I wish I could start afresh.

I have never opened up my family "little secret" up till today. I don't know if my story can be of help to other parents, I am tired of carrying this burden without telling a soul.

I am happy I finally surmounted the courage to open up to someone today. Oh, my life is a great mess.

Kindly do me a favour of posting this on your Facebook page and other social media page for parents to learn how expensive their actions today could be tomorrow.

Thank you.

Dates and its Health Benefits

Phoenix dactylifera, commonly known as date or date palm, is a flowering plant species in the palm family, Arecaceae, cultivated for its edible sweet fruit. Although its place of origin is unknown because of long cultivation, it probably originated from lands around Iraq. The species is widely cultivated and is naturalized in many tropical and sub tropical regions worldwide.

Date trees typically reach about 21–23 metres (69–75 ft) in height,[7] growing singly or forming a clump with several stems from a single root system. The leaves are 4–6 metres (13–20 ft) long, with spines on the petiole, and pinnate, with about 150 leaflets. The leaflets are 30 cm (12 in) long and 2 cm (0.79 in) wide. The full span of the crown ranges from 6–10 m (20–33 ft).

Dates ripen in four stages, which are known throughout the world by their Arabic names kimri (unripe), khlal (full-size, crunchy), rutab (ripe, soft), tamr (ripe, sun-dried).

Dates are an important traditional crop in Iraq, Arabia, and north Africa west to Morocco. Dates are also mentioned more than 50 times in the Bible and 20 times in the Qur'an. In Islamic culture, dates and yogurt or milk are traditionally the first foods consumed for Iftar after the sun has set during Ramadan. Breaking fast by eating dates helps avoid overeating offood once the fast is over. When the body begins to absorb the high nutritional value of the dates, feelings of hunger are pacified. Also, the nervous system can get a lot of help from consuming dates, since they have significant amounts of potassium.

Date palms can take 4 to 8 years after planting before they will bear fruit, and produce viable yields for commercial harvest between 7 and 10 years. Mature date palms can produce 68 to 176 kilograms (15  to 300 lb) of dates per harvest season, although they do not all ripen at the same time so several harvests are required. In order to get fruit of marketable quality, the bunches of dates must be thinned and bagged or covered before ripening so that the remaining fruits grow larger and are protected from weather and pests such as birds.

Dates are one of the healthiest foods on the planet, a good source of various vitamins and minerals. Its also a good source of energy, sugar and fiber. They contain valuable nutrients and essential minerals such as calcium, iron, phosphorus, sodium, potassium, magnesium and zinc that can improve your health and prevent diseases and conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke. It also contains vitamins such as thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, folate, vitamin A and vitamin K.

Here are the top health benefits of dates:

1. Rich in iron
Thanks to the high iron content, dates are great for people suffering from anaemia as well as pregnant women. Just 100 gr. of dates should be enough – this amount contains about 0.90 mg. of iron, which equals to 11% of the recommended daily allowance. Iron regulates the hemoglobin and red blood cell levels and enables oxygen flow in the bloodstream.

2. Prevent diarrhoea
Dates can prevent diarrhea due to the rich potassium content, which heals the intestinal flora and stimulates beneficial bacteria production.

3.Treat constipation
Besides treating diarrhoea, dates can stop constipation as well. Soak some dates in water overnight and consume the liquid which acts as a natural laxative.

4. Regulate weight
Dates are rich in nutrients that can regulate your weight and prevent fat buildup. They contain no cholesterol or fat, which is why they’re perfect for reducing weight. However, they do contain sugar, so you should consume them moderately.

5. Regulate cholesterol
Dates can lower the levels of the “bad” (LDL) cholesterol and clean the blood vessels, effectively preventing numerous cardiovascular diseases.

6. Strengthen the heart
Soak some date in water overnight, then strain the mixture and pit them in the morning. Blend the seeds with water and drink the mixture during the day to strengthen your heart muscle and prevent cardiovascular diseases.

7. Regulate blood pressure
Dates are rich in potassium and sodium, minerals vital for normal blood pressure. 5-6 dates contain 80 mg. of magnesium which expands your blood vessels and improves circulation. According to studies, 370 mg. of magnesium can lower your blood pressure immediately.

8. Reduced risk of stroke
Dates can keep your nervous system safe and prevent stroke thanks to the high potassium content. 400 mg. or more potassium a day can reduce the risk of stroke by 40%.

On a final note, take charge of your health.

Take Care of Yourself

Don’t forget that you are the MOST important person in your life.

Occasionally, take a break and do something you enjoy. It doesn’t have to be something big or expensive. Just something to remind yourself that you are important too.

 Again... remember that you're not a superhuman.

3 simple coaching tips on your way to living the life of your dreams.

Tip # 1: Make peace with your body. Accept the imperfections and respect what your body needs to run its optimum performance.

Tip # 2: There are no mistakes, only lessons. View mistakes as opportunities to learn. Be compassionate, learn to forgive, live your life ethically and keep a sense of humour.​

Tip # 3: “There” is no better than “Here”. Live in the Present. Dance the fine line between living in the here and now while holding in your heart your fondest dreams and aspirations for the future.
I value you.